Clutching at Straws

Today at work, I edited a paper: “The Outcomes Project”. The outcomes for what, I couldn’t really say, but that’s really not important at this point. It’s merely the start of what I’m about to tell you.

Part way through the project, the team, it seems, took a “straw poll vote”. It being Friday, it was an act I was about to let them get away with without argument. The results clearly showed favor to one of the outcomes, 7 to 5. Fine, whatever, but what exactly is a “straw poll vote”?

“Poll” and “vote” seemed a little redundant, so I circled each word and wrote down in red: Redundant, underlining it for emphasis.

With that done, I was down to “straw poll” or “straw vote”, but I was still confused. If you’re pulling straws, it seemed to me, there’s no majority rule. There’s a winner and a loser, everyone else falls through the cracks. Isn’t it just luck of the draw when dealing with straws?

I could be wrong, so I looked it up. Sure enough…I was wrong.

A “straw poll vote”, it seems, is an acceptable term. According to an online encylopedia, it is:

a type of voting where the results of the poll have little or no direct results, other than to gauge opinion. Straw polls are commonly used in American political caucuses, where the primary goals are to select delegates and vote on resolutions. The results of the straw polls may or may not influence the delegates as they participate in political conventions after the caucus.

I came to the conclusion that essentially it’s a vote that lets you voice your opinion, but that’s about it. It counts for nothing, means nothing, does nothing. It’s just an opportunity to state your side with the complete understanding that ultimately it will make no difference on the situation.

So I crossed out all of my comments, called it a day, and went home.

“Straw poll vote away,” I said. “It doesn’t mean a thing.”

And now that I’m here, I started thinking that lately I’ve been a very good straw poll voter myself. I straw poll vote my situation and then when there nothing more to straw poll vote, I brush my teeth, curl up in bed, and go to sleep.

Unless of course, there’s a cigarette to smoke or a wine bottle to open or something to shop for…or someone who I can talk to and try to pretend it is you, but honestly, the strategy never works.

I thought that perhaps if I take one last final crack at this straw poll voting stuff, I might finally be able to get it out of my system. Maybe then, I can move to motion something…get it passed and put into effect.

Do I miss you? Yes.

Do I want you to be happy? Yes.
Do I want you to be happy with me? Of course!
The probability of that happening? Clutching at straws.